Love and War
by Kuro Nyaa
Summary: Yuki loves Kyou.. Kyou returns his love with hate.. death fic, language, angsty first ficcie so be kind and R&R!
1. Chapter 1!

Love And War  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Furuba or any of these characters, even though I wish I did ^.^  
  
Warning: There is bad language in here. So scroll down at your own risk ^.^  
  
----  
  
Kyou was sitting on the roof again. It was obvious, to everyone who knew Kyou that it was from another fight with Yuki. It was also very obvious that he had lost by the way he was cursing and yelling. Yuki is Kyou's cousin and number one enemy, besides Haru ^_^  
  
----  
  
[Kyou's POV]  
  
//That damn rat makes me so mad. Always acting so calm and superior.//  
  
He stomped around the roof making a lot of noise. Locating a stray piece of wood beside his foot he kicked it as hard as he could off of the roof. Unfortunately Shigure was right in the path of fire and got hit squarely in the face. Kyou paused as he heard Shigure's shout of pain. He growled cringing slightly at his stupidity.  
  
//That could have been Tohru. It's getting to the point where I don't know if I can even stand it anymore. I know Tohru cares about me but we can't even hug.//  
  
As this thought crossed Kyou's mind he sighed heavily. He slowly sunk down to lay on the hot roof. Kyou shivered slightly from the contrast of heat on the roof and the coolness of the breeze on his skin.  
  
//Why was I born the cat in the zodiac? I am shunned wherever I go. I know Yuki hates me, and I hate him, but maybe not so much as I did before. I love battling with Yuki but.. I'm also very tired. I thought maybe it would go away eventually but it hasn't. It's this. deep strain in my soul. I can't take being here anymore. Not when I know I can't beat Yuki, the damn rat, not when I can't.. HELL why am I thinking these depressing thoughts??//  
  
He slammed his fist down on the roof in frustration and sighed again. Why couldn't things be easy for him just once?  
  
----  
  
[Yuki's POV]  
  
Yuki heard everything that had gone on after his fight with Kyou. He even heard Shigure's cries of pain. But he was really too sad to acknowledge anything or even care in the least bit. His heart ached from his verbal and physical battle with Kyou. He never wanted things to get this bad between them. In fact he hadn't wanted them to get bad at all. Yuki was in love with Kyou but couldn't reveal his feelings, after all the baka neko hated his guts; Kyou hated everything about Yuki. Every time they fought Yuki could feel each piece of his heart shatter. But he kept his stonewalls up blocking all the pain from sight; he couldn't show how much it hurt him.  
  
//I always end up winning but my heart's never into it. I wish he felt the same. Maybe then we could be together..//  
  
This thought made Yuki give a deep sigh.  
  
//Maybe I'll just go take a nap.//  
  
Yuki gave an angry toss of his head trying to clear the image away of all the dreams he'd been having of Kyou.  
  
//I can't think of him like that anymore. He just hates me and I have to accept it. I feel like if we have just one more fight I'll break in two. Maybe I should leave here.. I'm not doing anyone any good.//  
  
Another sigh escaped Yuki's lips.  
  
//How lonely sleeping by yourself can be//  
  
He thought as he curled around his pillow fighting to swallow the pain the vibrated deep within his soul.  
  
----  
  
[Brief Intermission]  
  
Let's take a look at how Shigure's doing since no one seems to really care about the wounded man. ^_^  
  
[Shigure's POV]  
  
* Groan * //Why am I lying on the ground?? Why does my head hurt so badly?//  
  
"AHHHH! HOW'D I GET DRUNK? WHO SPIKED THE SAKE HUH? WHO DID IT???"  
  
//Oh wait... I got hit with a flying piece of wood. Maybe it was from heaven. Did the angels want to get me drunk?//  
  
"THEY MUST HAVE SEDUCED ME!!!! _ I WANT SOME ANGEL BOOTAY!!!!"  
  
//Ohh my head really hurts. o0o Hello little birdies! Where'd you come from??//  
  
* Fall * * groan * //my head...//  
  
And that is enough of Shigure, he's so perverted ^_^  
  
----  
  
[Kyou's POV]  
  
Kyou shuddered uncontrollably as another gust of wind hit his bare arms.  
  
//Why I am still out here?//  
  
He groaned realizing how cold it was. Kyou was still half asleep as he climbed down from the roof. He was grateful, for once, that he had his cat senses or else he would have broken something. Still guided by sleep Kyou entered Yuki's room by the window. Not really taking notice about the placement of the bed Kyou stumbled slightly but eventually came upon it. He welcomed the warmth of Yuki's body not even wondering about it. Kyou fell asleep once more, this time with his arms wrapped around Yuki.  
  
----  
  
[Yuki's POV]  
  
Yuki heard Kyou come through his window and awoke immediately thinking that the neko was thinking to attack him. As Kyou stumbled through his room Yuki thought he was an idiot not to notice the bed with his cat eyes. Nothing had prepared Yuki for the situation at hand though. Kyou's cold body had sent a shock through Yuki when it first touched him. His arm burned where Kyou's freezing arm had grazed it. Kyou had wrapped himself around Yuki and as soon as he was settled he sighed completely content and fell asleep. Looking at Kyou's serene features Yuki wondered what it would be like to kiss him to be held like this every night. His heart ached as he realized Kyou would never feel the same. To distract his mind he tried to contemplate how to get out of this situation by morning. He thought it would be wise he if moved out of Kyou's sleepy embrace, as much as he was enjoying it he didn't want to get into a fight with Kyou; but whenever he tried to move Kyou's grip just got tighter. Yuki thought he heard him mumble "stupid pillow" but he wasn't sure. After 30 minutes of struggling Yuki decided to just relax and enjoy the feel of Kyou holding him.  
  
//This time it isn't a dream// he thought happily snuggling closer to the one he loved. //I hope he doesn't overreact when he wakes up....//  
  
The thought faded from his mind as he yawned, his amethyst eyes slowly drifting shut to the peaceful abyss of sleep.  
  
----  
  
[Kyou's POV]  
  
Kyou slowly opened his eyes becoming aware of his surroundings. This definitely didn't look, or smell, like his room. Kyou rubbed his nose against his pillow.  
  
//This isn't my pillow//.  
  
He slowly looked down at what he was sleeping with and saw it was Yuki.  
  
"AHHHHHH!" He yelled as he jumped out of the bed. "What the hell?!?!? How? Damn it!" Kyou stomped out of the room and slammed Yuki's bedroom door shut in agitation.  
  
----  
  
[Yuki's POV]  
  
Yuki was awake before Kyou and smiling contently until Kyou had to go and shout in his ear. He felt Kyou jump out of bed and stomp out of his room. He cringed as the door slammed and he heard more obscenities coming from Kyou's room.  
  
//Well that went better than I thought it would. * sigh * Why can't life ever be easy?//  
  
----  
  
YaY! That's the end of Chapter 1! I think O.o yes I worked my butt off! Well sort of. ^.^ PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!  
  
--Nyaa-- 


	2. Chapter 2!

Love and War Chapter 2  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Furuba or any of these characters, even though I wish I did ^.^ I also do not own Robin Trower, his song, the lyrics, or anything about him.  
  
Warning: There is bad language in here. So scroll down at your own risk ^.^  
  
----  
  
[Yuki's POV]  
  
As Kyou cursed and threw things at the wall in his room Yuki took a shower and tried not to think about the night before.  
  
//School is going to be very unbearable// he thought dipping his head under the hot spray of water. He sighed reluctant to turn off the water. As he stepped out of the shower he grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his waist shaking his head vigorously to get some of the water out. He glanced at himself in the mirror he groaned seeing the wildness of his hair.  
  
//This definitely is not going to be a good day;// he groaned and hit his head against the mirror.  
  
----  
  
[Kyou's POV]  
  
Kyou was having similar thoughts about the day. //I hope that rat doesn't say anything to me. One word and I think I might kick his face in.//  
  
Kyou then proceeded to punch the wall as hard as he could, leaving his blood in the dent he created. Quickly bandaging his knuckles up, he got ready for school, his personal hell.  
  
----  
  
[Yuki's POV]  
  
//What makes him so angry all the time?//  
  
Yuki pondered this while going downstairs to the kitchen. He sighed, thinking about skipping on breakfast for a change.  
  
It just wasn't the same without Tohru. She had gone to visit her grandfather for a couple of days. Even though she'd still be in school she wasn't here, at the house. Shigure had also gone this morning to see Hatori, the family doctor. Yuki remembered him mumbling something about drunken angels taking advantage of him and only Hatori could find a way to make them pay.  
  
Yuki sighed and walked away from the house heading for his, Kyou's, and Tohru's school. Maybe Tohru could help him out with Kyou.  
  
----  
  
[Kyou's POV]  
  
Kyou hopped downstairs and discovered that no one was home.  
  
//Oh well// he sighed //I don't need them anyway.// He tried looking at it with Tohru's optimistic eyes but that only increased his feelings of loneliness because she wasn't there.  
  
One tear escaped his eyes. When he felt it he quickly wiped it away. //Why the hell am I crying? Aahh! If I stay in this house one more minute I'm going to go crazy!//  
  
He stormed out of the house and slammed shut the door as hard as he could. //Why am I so emotional all of a sudden? It's a miracle Yuki wasn't there or else I would have attacked him.//  
  
----  
  
[Yuki's POV]  
  
Yuki was glad he could confide in Tohru. She was the only one he had told about his love for Kyou and she understood him. She didn't judge him at all. When he talked to her at lunch and told her about everything that had happened (Kyou in his bed etc.) she was very sympathetic but they couldn't come up with a solution.  
  
"Just try to avoid conflict if you can." she had told him. But that was easier said than done. As Yuki turned on the light of his room he saw Kyou sitting on the edge of his bed with murder in his eyes. //Shit!// he thought as he was slammed into the wall.  
  
----  
  
[Kyou's POV]  
  
He couldn't take the Nezumi anymore, he ruined everything. Kyou fumed walking home alone that afternoon. He would have been fine if he hadn't seen Yuki and Tohru talking at lunch with their heads so close together as if conspiring. Everything inside him just broke, He realized or believed that he had no one. Instead of letting himself cry or become sad he got angry at Yuki.  
  
//It's all Yuki's fault// he repeated to himself. Kyou knew that Yuki volunteered at the dojo until late tonight so he waited in his room for him. This time he was going to win. When the light switch flicked on he pounced going in for the kill.  
  
----  
  
[Yuki's POV]  
  
Yuki felt the first punch slam into his face at full force. Where Kyou's fist had hit started to go numb. Yuki tried to block him but it was no use Kyou had so much anger. Yuki was vaguely aware of Kyou's screams that he hated Yuki and it was his entire fault for everything.  
  
Yuki's body was numb with shock and so he didn't really feel any of the damage Kyou was inflicting to his body. Kyou stopped when Yuki started coughing up blood. Yuki slowly slid to the floor. As Kyou started to leave the room Yuki grabbed his ankle. Kyou paused he seemed shaken now realizing what he did.  
  
"Why" Yuki whispered.  
  
"I can't stand you anymore. I can't stand it. I'm going fucking insane." Kyou said harshly.  
  
Yuki hadn't realized he was crying until Kyou looked at him strange.  
  
----  
  
[Kyou's POV]  
  
It had felt so good to release his anger on Yuki He wondered why he didn't fight back though. It should have felt good to win but it didn't.  
  
He realized how much damage he'd cause the other boy. When he noticed Yuki crying that made him feel even worse. But not ever able to show his true emotions he roughly said "Why the hell are you crying?"  
  
Yuki looked up at him with pain and a deep sadness in his eyes. It made Kyou cringe. "I love you."  
  
----  
  
[Yuki's POV]  
  
Yuki said those three words so softly that he didn't even know if he had said them himself. He saw the utter shock and surprise in Kyou and then the guilt.  
  
"Just get out. You've done enough, right? I don't need your words right now." He softly sighed and rose to gently push Kyou out of his room.  
  
Once he was out Yuki locked the door and located his CD player. The only thing that could ease his soul at all was Robin Trower and he needed that so much. As he put in the CD he noticed how low the volume was turned down. Yuki skipped to the song "Daydream" and turned the volume up as loud as it would go blasting it through the entire house satisfied at the way the walls were vibrating from the deep bass lines.  
  
He curled up on his bed and realized that Kyou would never love him. Somehow he didn't mind the pain in his body it didn't hurt as much as his heart did.  
  
//I'm split it two// he thought more tears running down his face.// I can't stay here now that he knows. I have to leave.//  
  
Before he could think anymore the sounds of Robin Trower worked into his mind fading away the pain. The last thing he heard before he drifted to sleep were the words "We were spellbound ohhh spellbound"  
  
----  
  
[Tohru's POV]  
  
When Tohru heard the beginnings of the song she sat up in bed and started rocking back and forth. She hated it when Yuki played this song it always made her cry.  
  
She thought of her mother and she started sobbing as quietly as she could, knowing that Yuki must be in pain to play this song.  
  
He always played it when he was depressed about Kyou. She worried over him until the song sounded over her thoughts bringing with it the sound of the guitar. She always thought it sounded as if it knew pain and was crying out with her. So the tears streamed down her face and onto her pillow and she hugged it tight and drifted into sleep, memories of her mother's warmth pouring over her.  
  
----  
  
The full lyrics to this song are:  
  
We were laughing in a daydream With the world beneath our feet  
  
In the sunshine on the water Where the skies and the ocean meet  
  
We were spellbound Shah spellbound  
  
We were listening down old faithful As the leaves fell to the ground  
  
Whispering as we turned on As the wind left at the sound  
  
We were spellbound Ohhh spellbound  
  
We were spellbound Ohhh spellbound  
  
We were drifting in the garden Where the flowers kiss the sky  
  
And the birds sing out and wonder As the day went sailing by  
  
We were spellbound Mmmmm spellbound Ohhh spellbound Mmm spellbound Ohhhh  
  
It is called Daydream and it's by Robin Trower I really recommend you listen to it if you get the chance to. It's a very moving song.  
  
Review Please!!!!!! I beg you!!!!! Please!!!!! ^.^ Again, lots of fun to write. Hope you enjoyed reading it. Lots of hard work ^.^  
  
***Nyaa*** 


	3. Chapter 3!

Love and War Chapter 3  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Furuba or any of these characters, even though I wish I did ^.^  
  
Warning: There is bad language in here. So scroll down at your own risk ^.^  
  
----  
  
Kyou's POV  
  
Kyou was on the roof. He should have been celebrating his victory over Yuki but it was cheaply won and guilt swamped over the neko.  
  
//Why did he have to say those words.. I love you. I wonder if he really means it or if he just wanted me to take pity on him.// He sighed at this point recalling the hurt in Yuki's eyes. //Why'd he have to mean it? Oh well it's not like I care anyway. Yuki's my enemy. I don't have to feel bad for him. I don't want to feel guilty.//  
  
But somehow he did. //I always hurt people.//  
  
Nothing is right anymore.  
  
----  
  
Yuki's POV  
  
Yuki entered the still sleeping Tohru's room. He went to bent over and groaned slightly his injuries from Kyou beginning to let themselves known. He quickly kissed Tohru on the forehead and walked out of the room because she was beginning to stir. Walking down the stairs he opened the front door and almost yelled when he saw Shigure standing there. Shigure took one look at him and almost did the same.  
  
"What the fuck happened to you?" He said grabbing Yuki's arm and pulling him outside. "Ouch" Yuki winced as Shigure hit a bruise on his arm. "Be careful ok?" Shigure's eyes widened as he thought of something. "You didn't lose to. oh my god! You couldn't have! Did you?" Yuki shrugged at that point. "I didn't fight back. I couldn't. It just didn't seem right to keep fighting all the time. I just.."  
  
At this point Yuki looked helpless and almost in tears. Shigure hugged him. "I'm assuming you're going somewhere else with that bag huh?" Yuki just nodded. "I suggest then that you go to Hatori's and see if he can ease any of that pain I know it must hurt." Yuki sighed and nodded. "Don't tell Kyou ok? I don't really want to see him right now. I'll come visit once in awhile, when he's not around but for now it will just be too much." Shigure nodded "I understand."  
  
Yuki walked away from Shigure and tried not wince at the pain in his heart as he left the best home he'd had. He didn't know if he'd ever go back but he knew he couldn't go to Hatori's. it was too close to the main house, Akita's house, and all the bad memories he had.  
  
----  
  
Kyou's POV  
  
He had woken when he heard voices below him. It sounded like Yuki and Shigure. He was shocked when he heard that Yuki was leaving.  
  
//But then again it's no surprise.. I beat him and now he's hurt and doesn't want to see any of us// He sighed going down the ladder into his own room. He changed into new clothes not worrying about taking a shower because they didn't have school today. When he opened the door and walked out into the hallway he bumped into Shigure. He looked at Shigure and Shigure looked back at him but didn't say anything about Yuki. Kyou was thankful that he didn't, though Shigure never really got between the fights that they had. Either he believed they'd work things out or he just didn't notice. //This is going to be a long day.// Kyou thought going down to the kitchen to make himself some soup.  
  
----  
  
Yuki's POV  
  
Yuki turned off on a dirt path and headed to Haru's house. Although Haru had been living at the main house he decided that he had enough of the Souma's for a while and started renting a small house. Haru had told him before that he was welcome there but this morning he had called to be sure. Haru seemed surprised that Yuki wanted to come live with him but he agreed to letting him stay.  
  
As Yuki came upon the house he noted it's blue color and black roof and shutters. //Not too shabby.// he thought. He knocked on the door and Haru answered in just his boxers looking like he just woke up.  
  
Haru looked at him and up and down and whistled. "How'd you mess yourself up like that?" Yuki groaned. "Really long story. Can I come in, and why the hell are you still in your boxers? You need to get your lazy ass motivated for once." Haru laughed at that and welcomed Yuki in.  
  
Before Haru could ask him again what had happened Yuki asked, "Hey can I use your shower? I didn't get a chance to this morning." Haru smiled. "It's our shower ok? You're going to be living here too so it's yours too. So yes you can, it's down the hall and to the right" Yuki thanked him and headed for the bathroom.  
  
When Yuki turned off the shower 15 minutes later and walked out in only pants Haru was there patiently waiting. Haru's smile quickly faded as he saw the bruises covering Yuki's chest. "Tell me what happened." Yuki sighed, "Haru I can't. I really don't feel like talking about it." Haru stared at Yuki for a moment before finally nodding his agreement. "I'm still taking care of you. So get your ass on the couch while I get some ice." Yuki complied stretching out on the couch. When Haru came back, though, Yuki was already passed out from not sleeping last night. He bent down and lightly kissed Yuki's cheek. Somehow he'd make him forget whatever had happened. Haru smiled thoughtfully and softly put the bag of ice on the sleeping rodent's face. //I should really call Tohru and tell her what happened.// He thought grabbing the phone from the charger.  
  
----  
  
Tohru found out about the arrangement and told Shigure the news. She however, didn't tell Kyou knowing that it would only make things worse if he went to see the hurt mouse. Yuki met Tohru frequently and talked to her in and out of school keeping the friendship as close as it was before. He spent only the weekends with her saying that on school nights he had to tutor Haru or else he would fail miserably. Tohru had giggled at that but thought it was a good opportunity to get closer to Kyou. As the weeks passed into months the routine became normal for all of them and it seemed comfortable for Yuki to be away from Kyou. Even though the nezumi still had feelings for the cat he was trying his hardest to forget him. But every time he would forget the cat was there he'd look over and fall in love again with him. Kyou on the other hand noticed these looks and got irritated at times only to have Tohru calm him down again. Haru was trying to ease Yuki's broken heart but it just wasn't helping. After a year of these arrangements everyone was happy that it was summer. It allowed them free reign to do what they pleased. The first day of summer is where it began... the beginning of the end...  
  
----  
  
Kyou's POV  
  
"Hey Tohru!" Kyou yelled through the house trying to locate his only ally. //Where has she gone to??// He was almost in panic. That happened a lot now. He felt so protective over Tohru. But then again why wouldn't he be? She was the only person who truely loved him for who he was. Yuki's image flicked across Kyou's mind but he quickly ignored it like he always did. //We were supposed to go out and rent a movie tonight.// He thought absently. He enjoyed sitting and watching movies with Tohru so much. He enjoyed doing everything with her, even transforming when he hugged her because she was crying or sad. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her and it seemed as if her eager-to-please atitude had rubbed off on him. He growled. //Where is she??//  
  
Kyou bellowed through the house one more time before she answered sounding a little breathless. "Hai! I'm sorry Kyou! I was out tending the garden!" Kyou growled. "Why do you even bother with that thing?" he asked her coming down the stairs to see her washing her hands. She looked at him curiously. "You know the reason why Kyou." She then gave him a pained expression. "You never told me what happened between you." Kyou knew why she tended the garden... it was because Yuki couldn't and no it was true he hadn't ever told her about the fight with Yuki. That was one of the things he kept to himself. He sighed. He was surprised she didn't hate him for driving Yuki away.  
  
Kyou looked Tohru straight in the eye, and unlike anyone else he had ever met he was able to clearly express his feelings with her. He sighed in defeat and said, "Do you really want to hear about it?" She nodded her head, "I'm hear to listen if you want to talk about it." Kyou sighed and mumbled, "I guess no movie night tonight huh?" But he was smiling and he gently said, "Ok, let's go up to my room to talk." She nodded her head again and grabbed his hand stepping carefully to his room.  
  
Tohru kept a hold of his hand as he talked about the fight and what had happened. She gripped his hand tightly as he talked about how cheap it was to do something like that. "If it would have been Yuki hitting me he wouldn't have continued. He would have asked what was wrong. Instead I let my anger take a hold of me and I dragged him down in it." He then looked at Tohru with a quizzical expression obviously confused. "He told me he loves me. Why would the nezumi love the baka neko? He dealt with my hate. I don't even know whether or not to believe him."  
  
Tohru looked into Kyou's eyes giving his hand a squeeze. "In time everything will be alright. I know that you two will be able to work things out. I have faith in both of you. I love you both."  
  
Kyou blinked and lowered his head. "I love you too." He whispered it and his voice cracked over the words. It was the first time he had said it to anyone. He hugged Tohru allowing himself to transform and she just hugged him in her arms and rocked him back and forth.  
  
That night Kyou slept in cat form sleepily embraced by Tohru.  
  
----  
  
Tohru woke up early that morning to make breakfast for everyone saying that she was going over to Uo's house and would probably be spending the night there. Before she set out she made lunch for them and said there was left over meat stew that they could eat for dinner. They waved her goodbye as she left the house.  
  
Shigure was the only one who knew she was actually going over to Yuki and Haru's place but he didn't let on to Kyou. "Have a fun time." He called out. Tohru merrily walked her way over to Yuki and Haru's.  
  
----  
  
Yuki's POV  
  
Yuki was in the middle of taking a shower when Haru popped in the bathroom telling him that Tohru was here. "Thanks Haru, could you keep her company? I'll be out in a sec." Haru smiled, "Yup, Yup." When Yuki got out of the shower he quickly put on clothes and towel dried his hair. Somehow it just layed perfect, he really didn't have any control over it. But Kyou liked to think otherwise saying that he had to spend hours in the bathroom laying his hair straight. Yuki grimaced at the thought of Kyou. But he had Haru now he didn't need Kyou. As he said this a part of his heart disagreed but he ignored it and quickly came out of the bathroom. When he came out to where Tohru and Haru were he almost burst out laughing. Tohru was on the couch in a faint while Haru was in cow form moodily switching his tail. "How long have you been like that?" Yuki giggled but got no answer as Haru changed back to human form and was quiet naked. Yuki giggled again as Hasru grumbled putting back on his clothes. When Tohru recovered she gave Haru a million apologies. "It's alright, really. I'm no worse for the wear." Tohru blushed and said, "Ok"  
  
Yuki looked at her and smiled, "Want to take a walk for a little bit? We have some catching up to do." Haru had already learned a long time ago that Yuki wasn't leaving him out but he needed his alone time with Tohru. He also knew that Yuki loved Tohru, but in a non-sexual way. "Hey I'm going to be staying at Hatori's with Momiji for a day or so" Haru said in a casual tone. Yuki smiled softly appreciating Haru's insight that he needed his time with Tohru alone. "Ok, I'll be seeing you tomorrow I guess." He hugged Haru tightly and kissed him lightly on the lips. Haru smiled letting him go with Tohru down the dirt path that led to the town. He was really in love with Yuki.  
  
Tohru and Yuki held hands going down the path. "Yuki.?" Tohru started hesitantly. "Yes Tohru?" "You need to work things out with Kyou." Tohru felt him flinch at the spoken name and squeezed his hand continuing. "He doesn't hate you, and he does feel really bad about what he did. I think he feels guilty for.." Yuki quickly cut her off. "For bashing my face in? Yes he usually does feel bad when he thinks he's in the wrong. Which isn't very often." "I was going to say he feels guilty for causing you to leave and for causing harm to you. I just think that he can't control his anger well." Yuki snorted. But seeing Tohru's hurt expression he said "I'm sorry Tohru, I just don't see me and him getting any closer than we already are. I still love him. It kind of amazes me that I do, but that doesn't change it. I have to give up that hope. He won't change his feelings it just won't work out." Yuki sighed half-heartedly but smiled when he felt Tohru squeeze his hand. "Everything will work out." "I hope so." "I know so"  
  
----  
  
Kyou's POV  
  
A whole day without Tohru. What was he going to do? He could help Shigure plan his attacks against the 'angels', sit on the roof, or practice his sparing techniques. Not very much hmm. He stalked out to the woods to meditate.  
  
He quickly dropped to the ground resting his back against a tree and closed his eyes. Slowing his breathing down he struggled to think of nothing. Once he achieved that goal he slowly allowed thoughts of Yuki to trickle into his mind. //I don't hate him.// after letting this thought trickle through he allowed another within a few seconds. //I've never hated him.// ....... //There's this charge between us.// ..... //Somehow I can't ignore his taunts.// ....... //I thought I was fighting for a place in the family.// ........... //But I'd still be the baka neko to them.// This thought came without any biiterness behind it. Just the acceptance to how the family was. //Tohru is the only one who accepts me.// .......... //Tohru loves me.// This thought triggered another one. //So does Yuki.// His thoughts were coming faster now making it impossible for him to continue meditation. He sighed opening his eyes to find 10 cats either laying on him or sleeping beside him. He rolled his eyes and layed on his back allowing them to all lay on him. He contently fell asleep surrounded by warm bodies.  
  
Kyou. You're not a baka neko to me. I just want to be closer to you. Please? A younger Yuki was standing in front of Kyou holding out his hand. Kyou growled I don't need help from you. You'd probably trick me anyway! He stalked off not even bothering to turn around when Yuki started to cry. Still dreaming Kyou whispered out loud I just don't want to be hurt It flashed to the scene that happened only a year ago. Kyou. I love you. Kyou was again looking into Yuki's hurt eyes. In his dream he replied I don't want to hurt. I can't stop hurting. Yuki looked up at him with anger in his eyes. Yelling at him, "You don't want to hurt you don't want to be hurt! YOU DON'T TAKE CHANCES!! Yuki slapped him still yelling. "YOU BASTARD I HATE YOU!" Suddenly Kyou was a smaller child and Yuki was older. You're so stupid, you're just the cat and there's no point for you to even be living. The cat isn't in the zodiac and will never be a part of this family! Kyou backed into the corner and tried to get as small as possible whimpering submissively. That's right, you fucking coward.  
  
Kyou sat straight up scattering the cats who meowed grouchily. He rubbed his face and could still feel the sting of Yuki's slap. It had been a dream. Somewhere between him meditating and sleeping it had turned into night time. Kyou got up and shook himself from the cats and slowly walked back to the house.  
  
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Yuki's POV  
  
Yuki smiled as he and Haru bade Tohru goodbye. "Come back soon," Yuki called to her. She smiled and waved. It had been heaven for Yuki to spend so much time with Tohru. They had stayed up and talked for hours. He was still glowing when Haru closed the door and they both layed down on the couch. Yuki was laying on top of Haru when the cow asked, "You love her, huh?" Yuki looked up at Haru's expression before laying back down on his chest. "Yeah. She means a lot to me." There were a few minutes of silence before Haru asked, "Do you love me?" Yuki looked into Haru's eyes then guiltily looked away. "I don't know. I care about you a lot. But." Haru finished for him, "There's someone else. Who is it Yuki?" "It doesn't matter who." "Yes it does. Now look at me." Yuki obeyed keeping his eyes on Haru's "Who is it?" Yuki flinched but didn't break eye-contact. He sighed resting his head against Haru's chest before whispering, "Kyou." Haru went tense for a second and then relaxed. "Is that why you're living here? To escape him? To escape the situation?" Yuki nodded slowly. "You have to face it. It's not going to go away Yuki." It took all of Haru's strength to say, "If he would make you happier then you have to go. I'm not letting you stay here any longer." Yuki looked up and saw that Haru was crying. He slowly licked the tears away with his tongue being as gentle as possible. "I'll never forget what we shared. But for tonight can we stay like this? I don't want to be alone." Haru nodded running his finger up and down Yuki's spine. When Yuki feel asleep he softly whispered, "I love you." And fell asleep himself.  
  
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Kyou's POV  
  
He was panicked. She was supposed to be home over an hour ago. //Where is she. What could have happened..// He decided it would be good to meet her halfway if she was coming at all so he ran to her work. As he came upon the scene his heart fell. //What if she. No it couldn't be her. He saw the flashing lights. Walking up to the blood covered side-walk he retched. Good thing he hadn't eaten anything. He went up to a cop and asked, "What happened?" The cop eyed him suspiciously then said slowly, "A girl getting off of work was shot and mugged." Suddenly everything was hazy. //The only girl who works this late. is. Tohru.// Everything went black after that.  
  
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Yuki's POV  
  
* ring * * ring * Yuki answered "Hello?" "Yuki.?" Yuki's heart almost stopped. "Kyou?" "Yuki, come home right now. It has something to do with Tohru. she's. she's * sobbing on the other end of the line * * Shigure came on at this point sounding void of emotions. * Come home Yuki, hurry up."  
  
Yuki ran to the bathroom where Haru was taking a shower. "Haru I have to go now! I'm needed at the house! It has something to do with Tohru.."  
  
He ran out of the bathroom and out of the door before even waiting for a response from Haru. This could only be bad. //Kyou was crying. He never cries.// //Tohru...... // Yuki ran faster trying to keep up his pace but his brochial tubes labored. //Shit. Not now.// He ran all the way to the house before receiving an asthma attack his whole body shuddering at the effort to keep breathing. Shigure was at the door to catch him when he fell. * cough * * cough* Shigure pulled out one of Yuki's inhalers and helped him breathed through it. "It's ok now Yuki." Yuki heard sobbing coming from the other room but everything became slowly black. //Where's Tohru?//  
  
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Kyou's POV  
  
He heard the rat come in and he heard Shigure take him to his room. He couldn't stop crying. He didn't want to stop crying. The world for him had ended, Tohru was gone. Forever. He heard Shigure come back down the stairs but he didn't want to see his face anymore. He didn't want to see anyone. He ran up the stairs into his room. Not wanting to go up to the roof. Not wanting to remember Tohru. He heard sobbing from the other room. Shigure must have told him. Kyou slipped inside Kyou's room softly closing the door. Yuki's body was racked with sobs, his back to the door. Kyou felt just as miserable his tears still flowing. Barely realizing what he was doing he climbed onto Yuki's bed and put an arm around his waist. Yuki didn't even acknowledge him he just continued crying. They sobbed together until they were too tired to do so and then they hugged onto each other and fell asleep. Kyou dreamed of nothing but endless warmth and comfort.  
  
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That was so sad T.T I almost cried when I was writing it. Tohru's dead!!!! How could I? * sob *  
  
That is prolly the end. Unless someone has something they want me to put in there for a final chapter? Review please!!!! Give me your opinion here!!!!! ^.^  
  
^^;Nyaa^^; 


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